Either the Best Idea or Worst Idea Ever

January 23, 2009

1/23 Update: 

I actualy won tickets to this event but can’t go!  First one to comment on this blog entry gets added to the list!  For real.

Also, you can download Rocktapussy’s new ’09 Mixtape for free here.  Featuring: He Say She Say, Silverghost, Flosstradamus feat. Caroline, CSS, Tegan & Sarah, Audio Bullys, Alphabeat, Seelenluft, Prairie Cartel, Kaiser Chiefs, Solid Gold

 

 

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Vzspandexxx

In a concept as classy as their name, adorable DJ tandem Rocktapussy (Jessica “A-Cup” Gonyea and Chess “Mother” Hubbard) are hosting SPANDEXXX! at Sonotheque later this month with He Say She Say and Silverghost.  (Don’t bother trying to read the font on the flier).

So… um, if you’re dressed in 70% or more spandex you get in free.  If you RSVP at UR Chicago, you get in for 5$.  You can also win free tix by using brain power over at Venus Zine.

Considering what a Spandex ensemble will cost you at American Apparel (and all the friends you’ll lose in the process), I’ll take the 5$.  Also please note; while accessories will make your outfit “pop”, be careful not to over-do it and drop below the 70% spandex requirement.

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The Drew Peterson Date Material Test

December 17, 2008

Please take the test below to see if you could be compatible with Drew Peterson.  If your answer to the question is “yes”, “maybe”, or “depends”, please move down to the next question.  If your answer is “no”, you are not a good fit for Drew Peterson:

  • Would you date?
  • Would you date a man?
  • Would you date a man who is a police officer?
  • Would you date a man who lives in the Chicago suburbs?
  • Would you date a man who is a police officer in the suburbs?

Congrats.  You have passed Stage One of the Drew Peterson Funnel (DPF).  You are now considered: An Eligible Bachelorette

  • Would you date a man who is over twice your age?
  • Would you date a man who exclusively dates people 30+ years younger?
  • Would you date a man who sits around in bars?
  • Would you date a man who has been divorced?
  • Would you date a man who is overweight?

Yep..  You have passed Stage Two of the DPF.  You are now considered: Open-Minded

  • Would you date a narcissist?
  • Would you date a man who has kids from a previous marriage?
  • Would you date a man who drinks excessively?
  • Would you date a man who has left two wives?
  • Would you date a man who has left three wives?
  • Would you date a man who has left four wives?

Nice.  You have passed Stage Three of the DPF.  You are now considered: Slightly Confused

  • Would you date a man that, in some circles, is considered infamous?
  • Would you date a man who has been fired from his police force for misconduct?
  • Would you date a man who has been accused of police brutality?
  • Would you date a man who, in some circles, would be considered a sociopath?
  • Would you date a man who has a history of domestic battery?

Hmmm.  You have passed Stage Four of the DPF.  You are now considered: A Bad-Boy Aficionado

  • Would you date a man who exploits personal tragedy for moderate fame?
  • Would you date a man who hits the talk show circuit immediately after his wife has disappeared?
  • Would you date a man who begins dating a few months after his wife has disappeared?
  • Would you date a man who taunts bereaved families by using the death of their daughter/friend as a bizarre ploy to date younger women via a radio show promotion?
  • Are you an O.J. sympathiser?

 Hmmm.  You have passed Stage Five of the DPF.  You are now considered: Amber Alert Worthy 

  • Would you date a man who is, in some circles, suspected of murdering his wife?
  • Would you date a man who is, in some circles, suspected of murdering his wife by drowning her in a bathtub and using his position in the police force as a means to cover it up?
  • Would you date a man who is, in some circles, suspected of murdering two of his wives?
  • Would you date a man who is, in some circles, suspected of murdering his second wife, stuffing her in a barrel, manipulating his stepbrother in assisting of it’s disposal,  whose grief then drives the step brother to attempt suicide days after the wife’s disappearance?

Huzzah!  You have passed Stage Six of the DPF.  You are now considered: Drew Peterson Date Material!

Unfortunately, Mr. Peterson has recently announced his engagement to an anonymous 23-year old girl who, God willing, will soon become Drew’s 6th wife.  Sorry Gals.  We wish them luck, but, don’t give your hopes up… Drew will probably be available again in the forseeable future… roughly 2010 or so.


Stately Designs

December 8, 2008

Fun States

Gotta a tattoo of a State?  My boy Tim’s just created a Flickr pool that’s trying to compile tattoos from every state in the union — cleverly called “The Statoos Pool

BTW, Tim’s already got Wisconsin covered…

the Stattoos group icon

 

Oh, and if you just have a tatoo of a rectangle, I’m sure Time could find some Great Plains/Mountain Time state that it will accomodate.


Canada: Something is a Foot

June 19, 2008

It’s on URChicago here, but I thought I might share…

In what sounds suspiciously like the beginning of a David Lynch film, Canadian Mounties are baffled by the appearance of not one, not two, but six separate severed feet–all clad in sneakers, that have washed ashore outside of Vancouver.

According to BBC News some guess it’s from a plane crash, some say it’s the Mafia, some think it’s floated all the way east from the 2004 Asian tsunami, but one thing’s for sure:  it’s freaking creepy.

None of the shoes (nor DNA of the feet within the shoes) have come up as a match so far — I guess they’ll just have to wait for the other one to drop.  *Rim Shot* Thanks, I’ll be here all week. -Brian Battle

 


MS Paint: All That’s Good and Right in the World

June 19, 2008

I have a mild obsession and strong affinity for Microsoft’s barebones “Paint” application.  Found on all Windows OS computers, but oft neglected, the program forces you to take advantage of the advantages it has (streching pixels obsenely wide), and improvise with the features is lacks (layers, masking, photo-editing, history brush, almost everything else).

Here are some of my favorite MS efforts:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photobucket