The Digital Switcheroo

Photo Courtesy of CNL822 on Flickr

Watching baseball last week with all the jitters, smears, and pauses of digital broadcasting,  I realized I haven’t officially bitched about the digital switchover. All this info (well, except for the Kanye part) I think is pretty valuable:

• With good reception, digital broadcasts look good. It is a huge step forward for television clarity.  Admittedly.  It does work.  So, if you get a new TV, yay, you get a new TV with potentially much better quality and more channels.  Everybody wins!(?)  The following bullet is much more important…

• DIGITAL SIGNALS ARE NOT CRYSTAL CLEAR. It’s true.  Before I got a digital converter I didn’t realize this, my coworker didn’t realize this, so I assume some of you have been (or are in the process of being) mislead as well.

Now that people are using digital receivers, we’re realizing that digital TV reception is as bad or worse than analog TV.  Those that haven’t gone digital yet (or in some cases can’t even afford to), hear the Networks pitching the switcheroo and it’s like they’re doing you a favor.  It’s important to know that TV Networks/the government/Big Businss are NOT just doing it for your benefit.

I’m not one for conspiracy theories, hell, any rant that mentions “the government” usually makes me tune out.  But this is true, apparently: The initial digital switch plan (I shit you not) was a delayed reaction to  Post-9/11 communication issues. According to Bloomburg…

The government mandated the switch to free up airwaves for advanced wireless services and emergency workers’ radios, to raise money and to provide clearer pictures and more programming.

Broadcast networks volunteered to give their analog frequencies over to  emergency police and fire communications.  Though, “volunteered” is a stretch.  Television networks were well aware that this act, which appears fairly selfless and sensible, had an overwhelming business-minded upside.

Giving up these frequencies and moving to a digital signal would mean that every American that does not subscribe to a cable subscription (~20% of the population, skewed towards the less affluent) must buy a brand new TV, update their televisions on their own dime (that’s 285 million sets as of ’05),  or  get cable.  It was a sweetheart deal all around, exemplified by the nifty bullet points below:

• Government gets low-freq emergency channels (Which is great… whoopdie-doo.)
• Broadcast Networks, who have been trying to go digital anyway, get to do so with the government bankrolling them, and in the name of public good.
• Broadcast Networks now have multiple channels to run second-tier content on, which can steal share back from cable stations like The Weather Channel, Univision, Telemundo, and in NBC Universal’s case –  ESPN.
• Cable companies  profit off of new subscribers unwilling to make the digital switch
• Electronic stores (namely Radio Shack) make a killing on digital converter box sales, and on selling peripherals around the digital conversion.
• Everybody gets to pretend they’re helping John Q. Public

That last bullet is the kicker, because, if you installed the digital converter box you quickly realize that reception can, and does, still suck.  What’s worse, broadcast channels that used to come in a little fuzzy on an analog television will not even register through the digital box.  No longer do you have the option of watching a fuzzy screen — it’s all or nothing now.

Digital TV is a snob — if it’s not crystal clear, you’re not allowed to watch it.   You cannot even manually tell your digital converter to include a channel that is not registering — this is what is happening to CBS (WBBM) on my TV and a friends in Chicago.  I wonder if they’re losing ratings because the digital boxes they forced on their viewers refuse to recognize it as a channel.

The funniest part is those antannae… you know the ones you were supposed to be able to throw away…  those rabbit ears they made fun of in the “swtch to digital” PSAs earlier this year?  Yeah… you have to buy a new one.

Lost is Back in the Future

Through the darkness of future past,
The magician longs to see
One chance out between two worlds:
Fire, walk with me.
-Twin Peaks

As all great shows do, LOST’s Season 5 began last night and answered a few questions (that most already knew) and added a whole bunch more.  So now, as great politicians do, I will pose questions for myself to answer:

 

Q: Why is Sawyer so tubby?

A:  Despite the amount of ‘Suspension of Disbelief’ required for LOST fans, I’m still dismayed by how doughy Sawyer looks.  That said, I guess I have to accept that Sawyer is played by a real human who is not stuck on a mysterious time-jumping island.

 

Q: Why is Sawyer obsessed with putting a shirt on for most of the episode, and why do they focus on him getting jabbed by a sharp bamboo stick?

A:  My best guess is that Sawyer (who was stuck in a giant Skinner Box during Season 2), will now start living through Abraham Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Need” theory.  In which shoeless/shirtless Caveman Sawyer can not become truly “self-actualized” until his base needs are met — Food, Water, Clothing, Shelter, Companionship… or as Sawyer would see it — mangos, beer, flannel, a tarp and Juliet(?).   In fact, as LOSTwriters are prone to do, I wouldn’t be surprised to see an unsubtle hint, like a character named “Maslow”, show up on the island.

 

 

Q: Did I catch LOST using both the titles “3 years Before” and “3 Years Ago” in the same episode?

A: I thought I did… bullshit right?  It feels like they’re being aimlessly deceptive.

 

Q: Does the ability of all characters to jump through time and space revolutionize the show?

A: Prettymuch

  

 

Q: Do Tell.

A: It’s a smart move on the writer’s part.  Any loopholes that previous seasons have created can now be closed by depicting their preceding events (in the past) that haven’t been shown yet (in future episodes).

Also, it’s a great storytelling tool that allows the viewer to be sympathetic to a character’s implausible plight.  In that way it reminds me of the film Memento, where moviegoers observe a hero with no long-term memory in scenes which run backward from end to beginning — thereby projecting the character’s brain issues onto its viewers.

 

Q:  Intriguing.  Please go on!

A: If you insist, good sir…  by telling the stories of the “past”, “present” and “future” simultaneously, at some level the viewer will be rattled by revelations that the characters themselves are experiencing.

Also, if you care to geek out about physics even more so (like I occasionally try to), good ‘ol Einstein showed that all “time” really runs concurrently.  (As well as fixed and unalterable as Daniel Farrady emphatically argues.)

So… viewing LOST in what David Lynch might call “the futurepast”, with all times going on at the same time, is actually just as valid as viewing a story from what we perceive, relatively, as the right way — beginning, middle, and end.  Ohhhh, Science — fucking with my brain again.

photo via the Chicago Sun Times

Q:  I feel dizzy and humbled by this new knowledge.  Does this have any direct implications within the reality of the show beyond clever and overly-smart script writing?

A: Absolutely maybe!  For the first two seasons we’d been watching (what we thought were) real-time events buttressed by compelling (and suspiciously coincidental) background stories that manifest themselves on the island.

The first twist was that Beardy Jack (and later other characters like Sun and Kate) were being shown in what we first thought were flashbacks, then concluded were flashforwards, but know now thanks to Season 5 (and Einstein, I guess) that the correct timing of events is all um…. Relative.  I mean, it would be a flash forward or backward only if you view the Oceanic 6′s time on The Island as the “present”.  (And now even that’s messed up.)

So, now that we know that they ACTUALLY JUMP THROUGH TIME AND SPACE, all the things that seem like ridiculous happenstance and coincidence could actually be an intricate and calculated set of events put into motion not by chance, but by necessity.  (And, as a further mind-fuck, possibly set in motion by their future selves in order to set-right the only future that wouldn’t unravel the Fabric of the Cosmos).  And now, if you’re keeping score, we’ve stumbled into Donnie Darko territory.  Break out the emo eyeliner.

More on this later… some thoughts on the future/past, and maybe a sprinkling of mind/body and dream/reality concepts.  So yeah, stuff you talked about while high, or in your Philosophy 001 class, or possibly both simultaneously.

Well Why Don’t You Just TELL Me the Best Album of 2008?

She & Him

In trying to think of my favorite albums of the year, I was looking around on other sites to see what albums actually came out this year (why this tag info doesn’t come up in iTunes baffles me).  I’m trying to listen to as MUCH 2008 music as possible in the next few days in order to make some decisions, but so far my opinions were more like Steve from Coupling’s thoughts on Fabric.

So, because I like Excel documents, I grabbed a few of the top 50-or-so lists (Paste, Mojo, Uncut) which, btw, is NOT a good sample of publications…  so I grabbed MetaCritic’s “Top 30 Best Reviewed Albums” and added it to the list too.  With a straight average (regardless of how many times they were referenced), here is the top 10 w/ their average ranking:

1. She & Him – “Volume One” 1
2. The Last Shadow Puppets – “The Age Of The Understatement” 2
3. Plush – “Fed” 3
4. Vampire Weekend – “Vampire Weekend” 4
5. Fleet Foxes – “Fleet Foxes” 4.25
6. Bon Iver  – “For Emma, Forever Ago” 4.75
7. Neil Young  – “Sugar Mountain: Live At Canterbury House 1968″ 5 (tie)
8. Okkervil River – “The Stand Ins” 5 (tie)
9. The Bug – “London Zoo” 5.5
10. Shugo Tokumaru – “Exit” 6

After seeing this very odd top 10, I have to mention that 6 of the Top 10 didn’t make the top 50 of any other list.  How can this be?  How can the best album of the year (according to Paste) be completely disregarded by all other mags?  What does this say about the world of criticism?  Well, in my humble opinion, every magazine, despite all being able to listen to the same LP’s in 2008, need to have their own little “things”.  They all feel the need to champion records to exalt their superior tastes — whether this means gushing over a record no one went super-crazy for, or one no one else has even heard of.

The Bug

I cannot claim to be completely informed about new music, but it does annoy me that 3 of the top 10 artists:  The Last Shadow Puppets, Plush, and Shugo Tokumaru; I haven’t heard peep about until now.  You can chalk that up to me living under a rock, or, as I’d rather; chalk it up to critics keeping their favorite records a secret and then sticking an obscure album way high in their Best-Of List, thereby solidifying their status as super cool, music insider/outsiders.

So, to get rid of the Let’s-Mention-an-Album-No-One-Else-Will epidemic, I will eliminate all albums mentioned only once in all four Year-End lists.  THEN, our top 10 looks like this:

1. Vampire Weekend – “Vampire Weekend” 4
2. Fleet Foxes – “Fleet Foxes” 4.25
3. Bon Iver  – “For Emma, Forever Ago” 4.75
4. Neil Young  – “Sugar Mountain: Live At Canterbury House 1968″ 5 (tie)
5. Okkervil River – “The Stand Ins” 5 (tie)
6. The Bug – “London Zoo” 5.5
7. Shugo Tokumaru – “Exit” 6
8. Paul Weller – “22 Dreams” 6.5
9. Girl Talk - “Feed the Animals” 7
10. Sun Kil Moon - “April” 8

This works more like DEMOCRACY!  Or, more like parliamentary procedure, like, you know, when one guys like “I move to nominate Girl Talk”, and then some other dude in a headband and American Apparel short-shorts is like “I second that!”…  The Girl Talk motion passes!

  

Now, we’ll cut the fat again, here is a list of albums that made three of the four 2008 Best-Of Lists (in an act divine intelligence, there are exactly 10 albums that did this):

1. *Fleet Foxes – “Fleet Foxes” 4.25
2. *Bon Iver  – “For Emma, Forever Ago” 4.75
3. *Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds – “Dig!!! Lazarus Dig!!!”  9.25
4. Portishead - “Third” 10
5. *The Hold Steady – “Stay Positive” 12
6. Drive-By Truckers – “Brighter Than Creation’s Dark” 17.33 (tie)
7. Randy Newman - “Harps And Angels” 17.33 (tie)
8. Sigur Rós- “Med sud i eyrum vid spilum endalaust” 17.33 (tie)
9. *TV On The Radio - “Dear Science” 19.25
10. MGMT – “Oracular Spectacular”  30.33

*Appeared in all four Year-End lists

You can of course argue that reducing editorial content and criticism to averages strips the rating of any validity… I would probably agree with you. 

But here’s what the list above does:

• It devalues the one-offs that a critic just had to put in the list for rep’s sake. 
• The obligatory high ranking for the band that posed for your cover is marginalized. 
• What emerges are albums that were universally liked — albums that you “buried” deep in your top 50 because they were too obvious, too mainstream, or were afraid to rank too highly.

What we have with this bottom list is 2008 albums that found favor with a diverse amount of critical publications — two iffy “rock” mags, a singer/songwriter obsessed one, and a computer aggregate site.  The result is LPs that span an array of tastes despite the gerrymandering that may effect one individual publication.

I’ll put my personal faves up later this month, and follow-up with a revised page when Stereogum, Pitchfork, and Tiny Mix Tapes, Coke Machine Glow, PopMatters, etc start to mention their favorites.

I Know it’s Crazy but it’s True

Doublemint Spam

Hmmmm, do I want Summer Susy or Winter Susy to be my ‘space friend?

The Creepiness Factor of Cellphone Cameras and The Internet

While I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve recently fell in love with Tumblr, and it’s ability to post cell phone pictures, there’s something creepy and slightly obnoxious going on over R.O.C.K. on the CTA.

 

      

    

Sadly, the poor taste only begins with what I’m assuming is a John Mellencamp song reference. 

Here’s the gist of what RotCTA does — “David Rockwell” takes covert cellphone pictures of people on Chicago Transit Authority trains and buses (they also accept submissions from others at ROCKontheCTA@gmail.com) and then posts them for the world to see.  David describes his blog thusly: 

a somewhat snarky, sometimes cranky, borderline stalker-y view of the world from my seat on the bus. No offense meant to anyone.. all of these stories are just made up. I really know nothing about you. And I care even less. I love watching the urbanites as they do their daily dance along the train tracks and bus routes…They make me happy. And sleepy.

Borderline stalker-y indeed.  It all seems harmless, but the site irks me for the following reasons:

1. They are rarely that funny
2. They are more likely to be mean-spirited and petty
3. Their idea of a “hunk” is any dude dressed business-casual
4. Their idea of a stylish or cute girl is a trixie dressed business-casual
5. As you’d expect, photos are taken almost exclusively on the northside brown line and red line.
6. Tons of creepy anonymous ass photos, and even some moose-knuckle.  Why?

If you’re on the CTA and you’re old, overweight, asleep, not cool looking, or a minority; prepare to be ridiculed anonymously.  Otherwise keep using public transportation in Lakeview and you might just become famous — if you wanted to or not.

The “Iron Chef” Mix Challenge

This is actually an OLD (and perhaps) never posted blog I found while cleaning out my “My Documents” folder.  It’s an oldie but goodie…

The IRON CHEF MIX CHALLENGE!

Concept: Make something beautiful out of something baffling

Background: Owning an iPod seems to be a necessity these days, and, if your friend has a 600-gig iPod of music plugged directly into their car stereo, it can make road-trips torture. Fortunately most drivers are willing to pass their iPod around so passengers can take advantage of the Gigantor iPod Saving Grace: The On-The-Go Playlist.  Regardless of their ‘pod contents; dated tastes, odd music fetishes, the Creed catalog, it’s actually fun to try to make a bumpin’ bouillbesse out of an iPod full of stinky fish guts.

The challenge: Take your friends’ iPod (the stranger taste in music the better) and make of it a thing of mixtape beauty. The glory being, it’s THEIR musical palate through your tune choices put up against the car’s collective ear drums.

—

My pal, who shall forever remain nameless* has a particular brand of musical torture – a hilariously “eclectic” iPod.  Here’s a quick list of music I heard on recent road trips; Big & Rich, Snap!, The Back To the Future soundtrack, O.A.R., Dave Matthews Band, 311, Garden State, John Mayer Trio, and of course the aforementioned Creed.

I gladly took up their offer to put together a playlist, and I think I did alright.  This is all from memory, but it went with something like:

• Phil Collins, “In The Air Tonight” (which was labeled as “Genesis – ‘feel it coming in the air of tonight’ ”)
• Chicago, “Does Anyone Really Know What Time It Is?”
• Survivor (Ides of March), “Vehicle”
• Cameo, “Word Up”
• Kanye West, “Keep Em High”
• Jurassic 5, “Freedom”
• Cardigans, “Lovefool”
• Deee-Lite, “Groove is in the Heart”
• Nickelcreek, “Spit On a Stranger”
• John Mayer, “Kid A” (Radiohead Cover)
• Rod Stewart, “Maggie May”
• Spoon, “You Got Yr. Cherry Bomb”
• Coldplay, “Green Eyes”
• Dave Matthews Band, “Spoon”
• Phish, “You Enjoy Myself”
• Flaming Lips, “Bad Days”

Let’s hear your O.T.G. Playlist successes!

*Person may, as a narrative tool, be a combination of a number of people I know.